Stop picking on Elon Musk. Elon Musk is like a God. Elon Musk is the purity of all humanity.

If I could die and smash my testicles into oatmeal and feed the world I would name that Oatmeal after Mr. Musk.

If I could live forever and impregnate every woman on Earth, like Elon Musk has attempted, I would name every baby I made: Elon Musk

I want to give all my money to Elon Musk, What is his Paypal address?

There has never been a smarter, more virile, better dressed, more cool, more amazing, more genuius-like, more wonderful man on Earth than Elon Musk.

Elon Musk is potent beyond words, As a man I can ony dream of being as awesome as Elon Musk.

Because Elon is so rich he must be the real, actual Iron Man. He must have gone back in time, with his Iron Man technology, and met the creator of the Iron Man comic book and made him write the comic book about him because Elon Musk is so special. It is clear to all who can see, that Elon Musk is a true comic book character.

Everyone says that Elon Musk paid to have those GQ articles and 60 Minutes shows produced about him but I know that can’t be true. Who wouldn’t want to write about how wonderful Elon Musk is. Even as I write these words, my erection is pounding with excitement.

We are all only a mere shadow of Elon Musk. Elon is the hope and the dream and the light.

If only Elon was fat, so there was more of him to love.


E. Musk